


One Sided Love: A story written alone, from beginning to end

by power_courage_wisdom



Category: South Park
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, will update ships as I go along
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:35:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26494978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/power_courage_wisdom/pseuds/power_courage_wisdom
Summary: One shots of one sided love because I love pain. I am a huge multi shipper so I often run into the problem of who should be with who and such, so there are many one sided loves in South Park.
Relationships: Clyde Donovan/Kevin Stoley, Stan Marsh/Kenny McCormick
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. I may as well try and catch the wind

**Author's Note:**

> I talk a lot on Tumblr about my fics and such: @powercouragewisdomm
> 
> (always be plugging)

Classes ended and I was slow to get out of class and to my locker. The hallways were packed with students trying to leave the building and go hang out together. Sometimes, it annoyed me.

I didn't really have a friend group. I hung out with the nerdy kids when they needed another person for an online game or they were planning a Star Trek marathon, but those were rare with them. Being nerds, they usually studied after school. 

I dragged my feet down the hallway and headed out the back doors. I didn't feel like going home. Being in my room just reminded me how lonely I was, and due to popular belief, I actually loved being outside. I made my way to the bleachers. 

I sat down and pulled out my game console. It was Thursday, and usually track and field practice would be on but it's cold out today. The coach hates the cold so I bet it'll be cancelled today. It's just me here today. 

I played for awhile, ignoring the time. The only thing that stopped me were my fingers. I didn't realize how cold it was today. It was starting to get hard to play. 

I looked up from my console and breathed out. I could see my breath in the chilly air. Maybe I should head home before I get a cold. I didn't have proper clothes for the weather. Even if I didn't want to go home. 

I put my console in my backpack and before I could zip it up, I heard yelling. I looked back up at the field and noticed there was a person and they were waving their arms up as they jumped. They were yelling at me. 

I squinted at the person. Who would be yelling at me? 

"Kev! Kev! Come here man!" 

I bit my lip. Okay, there was also another person I hung out with sometimes, but it was weird. It was the stereotypical jock and nerd cliche, except we were friends. 

I zipped up my backpack and threw it over my shoulder. I made my way over and waved at him. I felt awkward. 

"Kev, dude, whatcha doing out here?" Clyde asked. 

"I uh, like being outside sometimes, it's uh, nice, ya know?" I mentally kicked myself. I sounded nervous. 

If I'm not with the nerds or by myself (which was very rare) I was with Clyde. We became friends once when we got partnered up for a project and we went to Clyde's house. When I walked in, I saw a pile of comics and just mentioned it. Apparently Clyde loved comics as much as I do. Ever since then, we were friends.

We didn't hang out much. It was because I was such a social outcast and Clyde had his own group of friends. Clyde said I would get along great with them, but I didn't want to bother their group dynamic. Plus, I felt intimidated by their group a bit. Craig and Token are scary.

When we did hang out, we'd just play video games online or we'd talk about the latest comics in the hallway at school. We've never really hung outside of school or online. Of course I was nervous. 

Clyde smiled, "Dude, it's fucking cold out here!" 

I chuckled, "Yeah, it is. What are you doing here?" 

"Well, I just got released from prison if you must know." Clyde said, "Token was helping me with math. I suck at it. Came out the back door cuz it's quicker." 

"Math is hard." I replied. What a dumb thing to say. 

"Not for you. Don't you get good grades?" Clyde asked with a slight pout. 

"Dude, I got like 78% on the last test." I said. I should have lied and said I got something higher.

"Still way better than me!" Clyde said, "Anyways, haven't seen you in awhile. Are you heading home?"

My heart skipped a beat. There was a reason I haven't hung out with Clyde in awhile. 

"I um, yeah." I squeaked. God I am pathetic. 

"Cool, let's go together." 

Clyde started walking off the field and I stood in shock for a second. I'm walking home with Clyde. My legs need to move. 

"Kev? You coming?" Clyde yelled as he kept walking. 

"Y-Yeah!" 

I jogged up to Clyde and matched his pace. My hands were cold but I couldn't even focus on them right now. 

I don't get why he liked to hang out with me, but it was nice. It was nice feeling wanted, even if it's just a ten minute walk home. 

"You live near Jimmy's house, right?" Clyde asked and I nodded, "Cool, I was heading there anyway."

We walked in silence for a minute. I took a glance at Clyde's face, and had to look away quickly. He didn't catch me, I was just afraid of being caught. 

Clyde's face was really nice. I don't know how to say it any different. He had chubby cheeks, with no pimples or anything. He had honey coloured eyes which matched his perfect brown hair. Clyde was slightly taller than me and he was bigger than me. Clyde's sensitive about his weight, but I thought his chubbiness was cute. He was attractive, but that wasn't the only reason why I liked him. 

"How are you not cold?" 

My eyes snapped back to Clyde, who was looking at me. Compared to Clyde, who wore mittens and a scarf, I looked like I should be freezing cold. I mean I was, but I couldn't really feel the cold. Clyde's gaze on me made me fidget. 

"It's not that cold." 

"Don't try and be tough." Clyde said, "This wind is killer." 

As he said that, a big gust of wind came in and it burnt my skin. I'm going to have really bad wind burn all over my face. It'll look nice with my pimples. 

"You're going to freeze to death." Clyde said. 

"I'm fine. I swear." 

We kept walking and Clyde started to ramble on about what happened in gym class. I tried to listen but my ears started to hurt too. It was so warm this morning, isn't it supposed to be warmer in the afternoon? 

I looked up and saw Jimmy's house in the distance. I was so happy to see it. That means I'm almost home. 

We came to a street and we both stopped. A car sped past us, and the wind it brought hurt even more. I grabbed the sides of my arms and instantly regretted it. 

"I knew it!" 

"Knew wha- Ah, Clyde!" 

Clyde had threw something in my vision. I couldn't see anything. I pulled the fabric off my face and in my hands were a scarf. Clyde's scarf. 

"No complaining! It's cold as hell." Clyde said as he started walking. 

I put the scarf around me and instantly felt warm. Was it the scarf keeping me warm or was it my embarrassment. Does he not know what he's doing to me?

"I knew you were being too quiet." Clyde joked as I caught up to him, "You usually let me talk forever but I didn't even get a nod from you!" 

"Sorry." I said. 

Clyde chuckled, "I can't hear you under that scarf dude." 

I pulled the scarf down, "I said sorry." 

Clyde laugend again, "Dude, it's no biggie."

"Y-Yeah." I hid my smile under the scarf. 

Clyde ran in front of me and stopped me. I came to a halt, just before I crashed into Clyde. I quickly took a step back. 

"We're here!" Clyde announced. 

I looked over at the house and saw that we were at Jimmy's. I knew we were close, but we got here in seconds. 

"See you around Kev." 

Clyde waved at me and started walking to the house. I held the scarf he gave me down from my mouth again. 

"Clyde, your scar-" 

Clyde turned around and yelled, "Keep it! It looks nice on you bro!" 

My face started to burn, but I don't think it was from the wind. The wind picked up again and I pushed the scarf up. Clyde waved at me again and I waved back. 

I started walking home and started to debate in my head. Do I wear this scarf again? Do I just keep it in my room? Should I store it in my closet and never look at it again? 

To Clyde, we were friends and he was doing something nice for a friend. What would Clyde want? Probably for me to wear it again. Maybe I'll try to return it to him, and he'll probably just laugh at me and tell me to keep it. His laugh was so nice to hear. 

Clyde was so nice to me, who was a loner nerd. That's why I liked him. Clyde was popular yet he was so nice to everyone and he was considerate. 

Honestly, I was fine with just being friends. It made me feel warm during a cold windy night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy when Clyde gets inside, "Dude that sounded so f-f-fucking gay." 
> 
> Clyde, "Just bros looking after bros." 
> 
> \-----------------
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	2. I can hide from friends but I cannot hide from you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is stenny! It's a bit angsty because Stan can't handle love well but don't worry, he'll be okay

I sat in my chair and felt awkward. How can I feel awkward in my own room all alone? 

I slowly grabbed the pen that laid on my desk. I placed the tip of the pen to the open notebook and stopped. I felt my face burn. I am such a loser. 

Wendy told me I should write my feelings down in a journal. I asked her what I should write in it and when I should. She told me to write whenever my feelings become too much. Wendy says I have a lot of emotions that I bottle it up. I started writing in a journal, and I have been doing this for a few months now but right now, it felt different. Is this weird to write down in a journal? It's not like I show my journal to anyone, and only Wendy knows I have one. Still, is it normal to write about a crush that's eating you alive? 

Against my better judgement, the pen starts moving and I try to keep up with my thoughts so I can write it down. 

_I don't know if I should write this down. Only I read this but what if anyone else does? What if I reread this later and cringe so bad I want to die? I mean, I don't ever reread these. I just vent my feelings in here and most of the time I feel better when I do. Whatever, I'm just gonna do it who cares. I clearly don't. I don't._

_I have a massive crush on someone and it's ruining my day to day life. Kyle has told me I fall in love too easily but this time is different. I haven't told Kyle this time cus it's so different and I shouldn't be feeling this for a friend. What is wrong with me? We are just friends!_

I stopped writing and I could feel my stomach start to ache. Why am I like this? He's not even here yet I'm so nervous. 

_One of my best friends ever, Kenny, has been taking over my mind lately. His pretty eyes and stunning smile have captured my heart. He's so fucking kind to me and is so wise beyond his years it's amazing. I want to hold his hands and tell him everything is ok. Actually, I think I want him to do that to me. Fuck._

_A week ago I wasn't feeling great so I distanced myself from my friends for a bit. Nobody noticed or if they did, they let me be sad alone. Which I thought I wanted until Kenny reached out to me. That's when I fell for him. Kenny let me vent to him. Compulsively complaining when I haven't got the right. Kenny has more life problems than I can ever handle and yet, he listened to me and even gave me some advice._

_I still remember that moment so well. We were sitting in my room, on my bed, and I told him how I feel like I have no future and I'm just wasting time. Kenny smiled and looked out the window at the clear night and told me I should focus on the now and if I do, maybe I can find something to focus on in the future then I will see that I have a future. I wanted to cry and hug him, but that would have been weird. We're just friends._

_I haven't been able to act the same around him since, which is weird since he has talked to me like that before. I don't know, maybe it's cus I'm not dating Wendy anymore and I can finally acknowledge these feelings?_

I stopped writing and dropped my pen. I slammed the notebook shut and threw it across the room. No, that isn't the reason. It's nothing. We all have had a slight, small crush on their friend, right? It'll pass. 

I laid in my bed and I stared at the ceiling. The ceiling had nothing going on with it, and that's why I liked it. Even my usual calm state of the ceiling couldn't help me.

Kenny didn't deserve someone like me. I'm a piece of shit who can't even keep a stable relationship. I was a terrible boyfriend, even if Wendy denies it. I can just shut down from the smallest dumbest things. I can hide in my room for days and not interact with anyone or I can get angry and shout at anyone who was in my way. I hate the way that I think and act. 

I felt a tear fall down my cheek and I wiped it away with my sleeve. Why am I crying? I don't get to cry over something so stupid. Everyone gets crushes and yet I somehow made it about me.

Something vibrated in my jacket pocket. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and saw I was getting a call. 

Kenny.

I swiped to answer and put the phone to my ear, 

"Stan! Dude! Holy shit, Cartman and Kyle said they could beat us at basketball. Saying I'm scrawny and that you can't shoot a hop. Let's go right now." 

I sat up in my bed. They were living their lives and here I was, wasting my life again. 

"Stan, you there?"

I didn't notice how much time had passed. 

"Yeah, I-"

"You okay man?"

"Yeah, I am."

There was a pause. What was he thinking? 

"You know, Kyle texted me saying that shit so I could just text back and say you didn't pick up."

I chuckled. How was Kenny so good at understanding what I was feeling right now just off the tone of my voice? 

"That'd be nice of you, Ken."

"Want me to come over?"

"No, I actually feel a bit better now. I think I'm just gonna watch Netflix or something." 

"Cool cool. Let's do it tomorrow!"

"Or later tonight. Cartman can't see shit in the dark."

Kenny laughed, "Love the way you think Stan. Okay. Text me later!" 

"Yeah see you. Bye."

I hung up the phone. I can't believe one phone call with my crush made me feel a bit better. 

I know Kenny doesn't like me back, but he was my friend. Being friends was all I was going to get, which I was fine with. Like Wendy said, I feel too much and like Kyle said, I fall in love too easily. 

I'll be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


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